Jan. 29th, 2012

pikestaff: (Pony Marine)
Lately I keep having weird recurring dreams where I'm left feeling helpless and terrified. Things like losing my job, or being tugged around and forced to move again. You know, stuff that has happened to me before and that apparently has imprinted myself into my subconscious as some sort of post-traumatic-stress thing.

Wish I was self-sufficient and could control my own life! Oh well. There's a part of me that thinks I'm actually happier being a semi-leech who only works 25 hours a week and doesn't have to pay rent, because it allows me to work on things like writing and is probably better for my social-anxiety-riddled mental health in general. I can't decide if it's bad/irresponsible to think that or not.

Anyways the same old is up with me. Work is still the same. I'm still jobhunting for something better, to no avail. I'm barely keeping afloat with money but saving up is extremely difficult. It seems like I always need more money for something. I need to see the eye doctor because my eyesight is getting worse and I need new glasses, I need new tires on my car, I need a new computer because this one is starting to fall apart, I need to get a passport and visit Huxley, I need I need I need. First world problems, I guess. Pretty high-on-the-totem-pole first world problems (cause things like eyesight and transportation are pretty important), but still first world problems nonetheless.

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